April 23, 2020
Dear Shady Side Families,
"So how are you?"
I assume many of us have been asking and answering this question a lot more than usual. We all have our "care antennas" up these days. It is, of course, a fair question to ask, but by now it likely elicits a predictable, formulaic set of replies: "taking it one day at a time," "doing the best we can given the circumstances," or my current go-to, "hanging in there, I guess."
I am finding that these exchanges, while clearly well-intended, do not help us achieve the dialogue we all need at the moment. And for this reason, the executive leadership team I lead at Shady Side has been starting our morning Zooms with questions designed to be more restorative and sustaining. Here are some of the questions our team has been asking and answering together each morning:
- What's the most thoughtful thing someone has done for you, or you have done for someone, during quarantine?
- How are you finding hope right now? What's causing you fear?
- What family traditions have been most important to you, and what new traditions have emerged, over these past few weeks?
- What is the best advice you've ever received and who gave it to you?
- What are you going to do first when all of this is over?
- What TV show have you been binge-watching recently? Why did it capture you?
- We are all thinking about what it means to be a high school senior during this time. What was the most memorable song from your senior year?
- What's been the favorite car you have ever owned? Why?
- If you could go on vacation right now, where would you want to go?
Such an exercise might seem counterintuitive or even a waste of time in response to a global pandemic. I'll admit it took a few of my colleagues a couple of times to warm up to the idea. But over time we are finding this ritual encourages and heartens us in ways that conventional crisis management sessions cannot, something that better equips us to lead and inspire over the long haul. We are also getting to know one another in deeper, more authentic ways – and that builds important trust.
There is no denying the power of the right question during these times. The right question, asked or answered by the right person at the right time, can help us feel more human and connect with others in meaningful ways at a time when so many of us are feeling alone. Now is exactly the time for all of us to get beyond "How are you?"
I hope you and yours will find time to ask and answer new questions in the days and weeks to come.
Gratefully,
Bart Griffith '93
President